Beautiful just like you
by orange crush3
Summary: He pulled her close and he cried too. Cried because as much as he desperately wanted to, he couldn’t save her. He couldn’t help.


Honestly, I have no idea what or where this came from, all I know is that I like it.

Contains season 4 spoilers, particularly from Anywhere I lay my head, and Voices Carry, and I think it's secrets part one?

Anyway. Enjoy.

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It is a beautiful day out, he thinks. At least, it would be if his eyes were open, or if weren't so damn cold.

She was beautiful. He had seen it for a minute in her eyes. He had never seen her before, never looked in quite the right way, but he saw sadness, a wanting in her eyes that he had once known.

He wanted her to know he understood.

The day was bright and clear and the uneven slush mud in his yard seemed whiter. He felt nothing as he brushed his teeth, nothing as he combed his hair. He felt nothing as he locked the door behind him and stared wide-eyed at the snow falling from the trees.

She felt angry. Her movie had been disturbed by that damn alarm. She was pissed off when her sweater was dirty. She was frustrated when she realized she was out of ferret food. She was mad when she clomped down the stairs after no elevator came at all.

She still felt annoyed as she slipped on a patch of ice outside the school. It upset her even more to realize she was there alone.

_I'm so stupid. _

Words she never meant to even think jumped from thoughts to hands to paper and shaking, she threw her feelings away. For now, she was just... being.

He was now angry. He couldn't quite place it, trace where the anger came from, but he had walked in the cold for almost a half an hour and not found anything. There were no familiar footprints in the snow leading to her house. There was no stepdad, out sledding. There was nothing for him to hold onto.

What a waste of day, he thought. All this on a fluke. He wanted her to be there for him. Why her? He wasn't sure. He wanted someone to hold him, calm him down.

He fell to the ground, hugging his needs and feeling completely ashamed of himself. All he had wanted was to be there with her.

She was empty. A pink toque sat idly on her head, matching only with her pink mittens and contrasting with the black of her coat and the shine of her hair. Her nails were picked and bitten.

Her mind wandered, dreaming of kittens and princes and her boyfriend, somewhere good, probably, with his parents. She smiled. He was fine without her, and she without him.

The nothingness of the girl turned into sadness over her boyfriend.

He heard crying.

He looked alert, turning his head and, feeling the frozen tears on his face, set off to find more tears.

Snow began to fall and he became acutely aware that he had left without any sort of a good coat. His hair blew in the wind and he smoothed it down.

It would be any sort of his luck if it was his girlfriend, but he desperately wanted it to be someone else. Anyone else. Someone who would hold his hand and listen.

He heard a sigh.

She heard him sigh and with only a brief second to process her thoughts, she ran to him and pressed her face to his cold leather coat and cried.

He understood.

His hand found hers and she held on tightly. _Never let go. Letting go means giving up._

He pulled her close and he cried too. Cried because even if he desperately wanted to, he couldn't save her. He couldn't help.

Now she was crying because of him. He was alone. He never asked to have a problem, she realized. He had life on his shoulders and didn't even realize it. She held on.

"How come you are whatever you want?"

Her question startled him and she looked at him, with an intense, challenging look.

He shifted slightly, bringing her hand off its resting place on his thigh.

"I'm not perfect."

She nodded and suddenly that was a good enough answer. All the times she was told that, all the times in therapy people had said that, she had chuckled and said that some people were.

She turns away and looks out the window.

"Something good is going to happen today." She stares, breaking the silence with one sentence.

He stares at her red hair, dancing with the sun, and he knows she understands.

"You are the most beautiful girl in the world, Ellie."

"Craig..." she whispers.

He's already gone.

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